Right Now in North Carolina...

What a perfect day in North Carolina.

Ainsley is just as charming and winsome as ever. She loves to sit in her high chair and scream at us, while throwing her food on the floor. She pelts the banana at the wall. Hucks the waffle at Caleb. Squishes the orange into smithereens. Then, when she's thoroughly filthy, we put her in the bath. Which she screams about and then poops. Removing the delightful little screaming banshee from the tub so we can scoop out the poop, she proceeds to demonstrate to us how a naked baby crawl can be a strut that demonstrates the completeness of your control over all you see.

Caleb, meanwhile, is showing off his newly acquired stitches, located on his second chin. He is very proud of them, as they are a trophy that demonstrate that he was The Chosen One to initiate us into a new year of medical bills. And all because his mother was being a neglectful wretch at the store and trying to find some gluten free cereal instead of getting him the FAMILY SIZE bag of Cheetos he was so quietly and calmly requesting from the shopping cart. Not only did he get the Cheetos as his mother ushered the bleeding child out of the store, but he got four lollipops as a reward for three stitches. We are grateful for his jowls, which shielded his writhing body in the shopping cart from coming into contact with anything more important. Like an artery. We are truly blessed.

Emily looks over all she surveys and nods. She has taught them well. They are perfect minions. Although she is going to have to work on her elders, who seem to have this "thing" about not telling Mama that Daddy told you "Yes, you can have a purple jolly rancher" when he actually told you "No, you need to eat breakfast." Honesty is such a nit-picky thing to worry about compared to stitches and poop, don't you think?

Yes, the song is right when it proclaims "Making life a bliss complete, when there's loooove aaaaat hoooooome."