No Idea... At All

I have no idea what I should write about... I seem to be on some massive thing most people would call a "writers block" and it's rather frustrating if I'm perfectly honest. I've sat down 3 separate times to write both on this blog and my own, and either nothing comes or what does come seems to be kind of "bleh"... So the remainder of this post will probably be a waste of time for anyone who feels inclined to read it, but I'm hoping that just writing something will help. I guess updates are in order so I'll start there and see if anything worth while comes of it.

I've been working this week at Natures Sunshine which is great excluding the fact that doing the EXACT same thing for 8 hours, gives you time to think a little too much while appearing busy. Now don't get me wrong I have no problem day dreaming about softball and days in the sun or maybe a trip to somewhere exotic and out of this world beautiful when I win this bet with Becca. (victorious grin) But what gets me... Every... Single... Time.. is the big life questions that press on the mind of a mid 20's single male who to everyone would seem to be struggling with some of the important ones. I now openly admit that I am... And while I now have income, that only solves the physical aspect of things, which believe me makes me feel like a completely different person. But what of other things that help complete the picture? Here is where most of you can say "told you so" or as the filipinos would say "Teh!".

I although stubborn beyond belief and nearly impossibly difficult to live with at times wonder if there is some one who can or would deal with that willingly. As hard as it is for me to admit, I'm completely incomplete, and I've run from it long enough I feel as if the pieces of the "puzzle" might not be recovered. I can't help but wonder if the failings in the great chances I've had at said experiences lie with in me. As a friend once said "You can only have so many failed attempts before you realize that the weak link is you."

As I suspected it would be this post has mostly been empty ramblings that really in the grand scheme of things bare no real significance. Just kind of one of those things like in "You've Got Mail". This is something that I would like to send out into the great void. I don't really expect answers or some grand happening to take place.

This then is just the long lasting desire be no longer "completely incomplete" manifesting itself in my writing for the first time. I love you all and wish I had the means to come spend time with each of you. But for now I will just send you my love and let you know that I appreciate you all in ways I can't put in to writing owing to my lack of writing experience.

Love you

Jared